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Toys for Women

For Having Orgasms With: Vibrators

If you're female, or have a female partner, a vibrator is the toy most likely to make the biggest difference to your sex life. Many women have their first orgasm with a vibrator, and most women find it easier to reach orgasm with a vibrator then by any other way. Furthermore, most women cannot reach orgasm through intercourse alone (not through any lack of appreciation or love for their partners, and not through any failing at all on their partner's part, rather just through how the female body is constructed), so if you're a male with a female partner and think it would be sexy and hot for her to have an orgasm while you're having intercourse, a vibrator could be the best present you could get.

Note that in this section we're just talking about vibrators that are meant to stimulate the clitoris, i.e. which are used externally, rather than inserted into the vagina. Regardless of what image may pop into your head when you hear the word "vibrator," the external kind is by far the most effective for having orgasms, and by far the most commonly recommended (not to mention that they can then also be used during intercourse with a partner).

Outlet-Powered Vibrators

If you buy only one vibrator, we recommend buying one that uses an electrical outlet rather than batteries: they last longer (potentially decades), they never run out of power just as you're about to have an orgasm, and since they're made by mainstream electronics companies and sold in everyday stores (people actually DO use them on their aching backs and feet) you don't even have to be embarrassed if someone else finds it.

Of the outlet-powered vibrators, the preferred choice is still the Hitachi Magic Wand: in comparison to other plug-in models the Hitachi Magic Wand is easier to use during sex with a partner, it's easier to put a condom over the end in case someone else wants to use it, and the optional penetrative attachments that you can get for it are higher-quality.

Tips: Use it through panties, sheets, or a thin towel if the vibrations are a little too intense for your bare clit. If you want to go for multiple clitoral orgasms, then after the first one back off on the pressure while keeping the vibrator moving, avoiding direct contact with your clit until your arousal level builds again. Moving your hips while using your vibrator - perhaps also squeezing and relaxing your "PC" muscle in time with your breathing - is something else that can enhance the whole experience. And finally, when it comes to using your vibrator during intercourse with a partner, you'll probably find that "doggy style" is the most convenient position to use the vibrator in.

Battery-Powered Vibrators

Even if you already own an outlet-powered vibrator, picking up a separate battery-powered one can still make sense: the smallest of them can easily be kept in a purse, you can use them more discreetly and spontaneously, they may be more convenient for partner sex if you and your partner like to change positions a lot, obviously you can use them when you're not near an electrical outlet, and some of them can be used in or near water (which is nice if you have a hot tub, or if the bathroom is the only place in your house where you have some privacy).

Right now the most versatile choice is probably the Waterdancer: it's very small, very well made, and completely waterproof, with a design similar to that of the famed (but non-waterproof) "Pocket Rocket."

Tip: Make sure you have spare batteries.

For Enhancing Your Orgasms: G-Spot Toys and Dildos

Once you've become comfortable using a vibrator on your clitoris, there are two different directions it might be fun to explore: either using a firm G-spot toy to also deliver firm pressure against your G-spot, or else using a dildo so that you can enjoy a fuller and more satisfied feeling while using your vibrator. Before beginning, please keep in mind that any toy you penetrate yourself with is going to feel better if you first apply a little water-based lube to it: good lube choices are covered a little later in this guide.

G-Spot Toys

We realize a lot of fuss gets made about the "G-spot," and not every woman finds pressure on this area of their vagina to be enjoyable, but the people who like it often find that they really like it, so please bear with us for a quick recap...

Basically, the G-spot is an area on the forward wall of the vagina (i.e. in the direction of your belly) about two to three inches in (i.e. just beyond the pubic bone), which particularly when you're very aroused may feel a little different from the area around it. One way to find and stimulate your G-spot is with a partner, using his or her first two fingers inside you to press firmly upwards, and perhaps stroke the area of the G-spot with a slight "come to me" motion. The other way to find and stimulate your G-spot is with a rigid curved toy.

So, if you own a Hitachi Magic Wand, one way to get started is to pick up the Gee Whiz attachment for it. If you own a clitoral vibrator other than the Hitachi Magic Wand, then get the Archer Wand toy instead (which is also the best choice if you either already know you like extremely firm G-spot pressure, or are having trouble finding your G-spot). On the other hand, if you don't own any sort of vibrator but know you definitely want something that can stimulate your G-spot as well as your clit, then the Nubby G may be your best bet.

Although G-spot stimulation isn't something that's enjoyable for every woman, if it works for you then the point is to either deepen and intensify the orgasms you get from your vibrator by stimulating your G-spot as you approach and go through your clitoral orgasm, or else to enjoy the G-spot stimulation as a sensation and source of orgasmic release completely on its own (maybe after first having one clitoral orgasm to warm up, or maybe not).

Tips: the first big tip about G-spot stimulation is that it's probably only going to be fun once you're aroused, and the more aroused you are the more fun it may be. The second big tip about G-spot stimulation is that the pressure may need to be quite firm and focused in order to work for you.

Dildos

While G-spot toys are designed to intensely stimulate one particular part of the vagina, most dildos are designed to give you a more generally satisfying feeling of fullness, and perhaps feel good when gently moved in and out. When you have a clitoral orgasm with your vibrator or fingertips they give you something firm and satisfying to clench your vaginal muscles around, and if you like having sex with men they give you a feeling at least a little bit like intercourse with your partner which may help you fantasize. They're also available in a wide variety of shapes and textures, so you never have to get bored.

Your first choice in selecting a dildo is the material you want it to be made out of, and these days that's a no-brainer: you want silicone. Silicone is hypoallergenic and non-porous (meaning that if you like you can either clean it with hot water and anti-bacterial soap or else completely sterilize it by boiling it for five minutes), it feels warm to the touch and retains body heat, it transmits vibration beautifully, it can be made into toys that range from floppy to almost completely rigid, and if taken care of (i.e. not exposed to anything sharp that could puncture or tear it, and not exposed to silicone lubes) your toy could last a lifetime. In short, it's the perfect material to make a dildo out of.

Your second choice is selecting a width and length, and of these getting the right width is by far the more important (since you can always just not insert the dildo as far, or else wrap your fist around the base, if it would otherwise be too long). One way to pick a width is to use a rule of thumb: if you know that having two fingers in you feels just about right then select a dildo between an inch and an inch and a half in diameter, but if three fingers feels better to you then pick something slightly larger than an inch and a half in diameter. If you'd like to be more sure than this, you could first purchase some inexpensive non-silicone dildos in a variety of widths (such as these), and then choose the width of your silicone purchase based on which felt the most comfortable to you.

Your third choice is whether or not you want your dildo to resemble a human penis (though note that the "non-realistic" models are available in a variety of abstract textures and shapes, so in other words you don't have to miss out on any interesting kinds of friction just because your dildo doesn't have fake veins).

Your final choice is shape. Do you like the slightly eye-popping feeling of first being penetrated? Then pick something with a slightly pronounced head or knob at the tip. Do you like pressure against the forward wall of your vagina? Then pick something with a curve. But in general, it's probably simplest to just look at the shape and imagine what it might feel like inside you, and what it might feel like entering you, and make your choice from there.

So, with all that in mind, here are the links to the realistic silicone dildos that Toys in Babeland carries, and their non-realistic silicone dildos.

For Having Harness Sex with a Partner

A harness is something you strap onto your pelvis to hold a dildo just over your pubic bone, which you can then use to penetrate your partner either vaginally or anally almost as if you had a flesh-and-blood penis. This is a powerful fantasy for some men and women, though certainly not all. However, like anything else in life that's safe, if you're not sure whether you'd like it or not then you're probably better off trying it at least once, so you and your partner can have more time in your lives to enjoy it if you find that it's something you both enjoy.

Right now, the preferred harness definitely seems to be the extremely well-constructed Terra Firma. Examples of dildos it can be paired with include the Willow (small), the Mistress (medium), and the Leo (medium-large).

Tips: When using a harness, imagine that the dildo is actually part of your body (for most people this makes it easier to control). Also, if you have problems with your dildo slipping out of your partner, select a dildo with a slightly bulbous "head" so that the increased resistance will alert you when it's about to pop out.